WHEN I WAS FIVE[contd.]

People had gathered outside the door and they were yelling too. They heard the commotion and came out to the hall. They took sides. Let him in (Dont let him back in). There were six of us sort of trapped inside like POWs. Of the six kids, the oldest was 9 the youngest 3 years old. Finally the police came I don't remember if my mom called or the neighbors. I was really scared until I saw the angel and realized I was out of harms way. She said and I remember this vividly (This is crazy come with) I sat on the ceiling till the police came and took Percy away. I guess I was so frightened I was hallucinating but it felt so real. Nowadays I like to think my guardian angels come to life were keeping me safe. See with Percy we were all in danger many times this was just one day. They, the police always let him go before but not this time. This time they took him away.

I wanted to be present for it. This was not always the case. I have found ways of being present but safe during chaos and turmoil. It started long before sitting on the ceiling when my mom was fighting with my Dad. Long before he wound up being arrested for domestic violence. I remember every lurid detail of my past. It is all tucked away in my psyche so some part of me was always present. Until recently I have always been one person removed to protect myself. I have been like one of those little Russian dolls, one inside the other. You open up one doll and there is a smaller one inside all safe and secure. I liken myself to a war veteran in that way. Now that the war (which was my childhood) is over being present can be a joy. But I have worked very hard for that simple truth.Em (11/14/12)

TIME

Placing buds in fertile ground
We will grow and know, the reason for our sorrow
Why the days seem to stand still and cry - We will know when it is time
With seeds tightly wrapped in pressed wood -There is no life to breathe upon them
But cradled by love, patience, and humor in its prime - We will know when it is time
Dont you want to know ( Why it thunders ) When it thunders
why the wind sighs between the forest and the rain?
Why green limbs can become limp brown to die again and again.
We will understand when we cease to wonder We will understand when it is time.
EM (85)